Bachelor Wes finally got his ugly cowboy boots kicked to the curb this week on ABC’s The Bachelorette. I was nearly giddy that producers made him ride a bicycle through Barcelona and can only imagine what was really going through his head at the thought of having a picnic in a park. He never once kissed Jillian and when questioned about that said it was because he didn’t know if she wanted him to. It’s called romance, Wes and yes, every girl wants it!
I’m sad to say that since a serial killer was gunned down in my television market a breaking news interruption forced me to miss the end of Reid’s date and the beginning of Ed’s date, but as far as I could tell they both went smashingly well.
As for you, slimey Wes, I will never buy your stupid album. And I don’t think any Bachelorette-watching woman would– no matter how much she loved that one line of your music we heard over and over. But just because you’re a royal jerk, I still want to give you a gift courtesy of The House of Bachelorette. First of all there is this lovely trucker/baseball hat.
I believe it will always remind you of home, no matter where the dirty bar you’re singing in is located. I also want to give you this fab six foot tall inflatable pecker. Think of it as an award for being the world’s biggest dick.